Say It Loud

Last week,  I went into little KJ’s room, to check on him. Not immediately visible, I soon found him under a blanket, on his floor. He was playing hide and seek, he told me. He was alone, though, so I asked him who he was playing with. He was playing with his iPad, he replied. I tried to explain the rules of hide and seek, but his three year old brain wasn’t having it.

“I’m looking for myself! I’m finding myself!”

He then disappeared back under his blanket, to enjoy his superhero videos on YouTube.

I mention this story because, with the racially-charged events of the past week, I feel like I’ve been hiding under a blanket, and I need to do some searching myself.


I’ve always been a black guy who wasn’t always considered black enough. Interpret that statement as you see fit.  Being a black Canadian is not the same as being a black American, but racism and bigotry does exist here. It’s impossible to ignore. My approach to it, since I was a kid, has always been to bite my tongue, and be myself. If you’re going to hate me, hate me for me, and not for some preconceived ignorance. And, call it disenfranchised, or disillusionment,  or helplessness, but I just didn’t think that me fighting back alone would accomplish anything.

So yeah, I guess I accepted racism, and normalised it.  Through every “random” search or bag check.  Through every time someone ended a sentence with “But it’s OK for me to say that. I have a black friend!”.  Through every incident where the only possible explanation was discrimination.  Through every time I walked down a street, and an oncoming woman would cross the road instead of risk coming near me (when this happens nowadays, quite frankly, I get nervous, too, sometimes. As  Amy Cooper disgustingly demonstrated, fear on itself can be used as a weapon).  Through every mistreatment by those in positions of power. Through every racial epithet hurled towards me. Through every racial epithet hurled towards my children.



This stuff wasn’t OK, but I’m just one guy. It all made me mad on the inside, the casual and not-so-casual racism. People with bigger influence and platforms could not affect change, when more horrific incidents took place. So what, for example, was I supposed to do when a white client who I’ve never met before, while at a business dinner, and to much laughter from other white guests at the table, asked me if I was going to order some fried chicken, when we were at an upscale fish restaurant?  I didn’t do anything of significance about anything at all, and taught my kids as much.

Nothing when it became a problem to reach for your wallet while black (#amadoudiallo). Or walk to the store while black (#mikebrown  #trayvonmartin). Or jog while black (#ahmaudarbery). Or be a kid playing games while black (#tamirrice).  Or go to church while black (#charleston9). Or sell CDs while black (#altonsterling). Or breathe while black (#ericgarner).  Or have a bachelor party while black (#seanbell).  Or stay alive while black (#freddiegray). Or hang out at home while black (#bothamjean  #atatianajefferson  #breonnataylor).  And so on, and so on.

These tragedies would usually fall into the same cycle. Shock and disbelief about them, with the hashtags and outrage on social media.  This would end in shock and disbelief about the outcomes of them, be it riots, peaceful protests like Colin Kaepernick’s, or miscarriages in justice at the court level. And then what?

To those not directly impacted, or those who don’t stay to fight the good fight, they would  ‘trend’. The thing with trends, though, is that they aren’t permanent. They’re a thing, until they aren’t, and then it’s on to the next one.   #alllivesmatter when #blacklivesmatter, but that point would get overshadowed by the many not in favour and indifferent to the Black Lives Matter movement.  From this black Canadian dad’s perspective, the cycle of racism was going to be never ending, because there wasn’t the required desire to fix it, at its core. All that I could do was be the best that I could be, to those that know me, so that maybe any ignorance or hate in my circle would be lessened.

And then the heinous, callous death of George Floyd happened.

I don’t need to get into the video, or how cold-blooded the Minnesota police officers in it were.  What I will say, however, is that the reaction to his death has been different.  More passionate. People who normally don’t say anything, are demanding changes. Canadians who normally don’t say anything about racial tensions, are saying enough is enough.

Will all of this lead to anything? I don’t know, man.

A quote by Angela Davis that’s been floating around a lot lately says:

“In a racist society it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be anti-racist.”


I’d add being silent and accepting as also not being enough. We all need to use our voices and our platforms, big or small, to talk about racism, no matter how hard the conversations are.  The cycle needs to be broken. The time to take our heads out from under the blankets is now.

Stay safe, everyone, and Rest In Power, George Floyd.




26 observations on “Say It Loud
  1. blair villanueva

    We should stop racism. After all, no matter what race and where we were born and how we all have the same color of blood (even royals their blood are red too!). And we all gonna disappear in this world the way that the nature planned for us.

  2. Amalia

    I am 100% anti-racist, my son will grow up now knowing anything different, from me he will only know that people exist in the world, that’s it all the same, so sad about what’s been happening!

  3. Alyssa

    Yes, silence means you’re being part of the problem. I’m committed to doing better, excavating my internal blind spots and biases, and continuing to educate myself about social justice and systemic racism now and moving forward.

    1. mike

      Conversation and education are keys to making things better, agreed. Systemic racism will not go away overnight, but if enough people are willing to change, maybe that can lead to some progress.

    1. mike

      Thank you. My story isn’t unique, and my life hasn’t been filled with as many incidents as others. Hopefully, as we continue to talk about this, things will get better.

  4. Fransic verso

    We need to work as one to get rid of the Racism out of this world. We do feel the same and it’s not right to be treated differently. Thank you for sharing!

  5. Monidipa

    You are right, we need to be anti-racist, just today I got into a heated debate on someone about this. We are on same page, infact many of us are.

    1. mike

      That sounds like an interesting debate. And it does seem like there is more progress in getting enough people on the same page now than any time in recent memory. Still work to do, though.

  6. siennylovesdrawing

    thanks for sharing this, learnt so much about it & start to understand about why all the black square across the social platforms for blaock out tuesday
    Pls stop racism no matter what. cheers, siennylovesdrawing

  7. Hooda

    Racism is an ignorant trait. Taught by ignorant people and practiced by their ignorant generations. I can’t believe that in 2020 racism is still a thing. It’s just outrageous how far we have gone forward with science and development, but how far people are still behind when they are racist.

    Thanks for this article!

  8. Jen - Organzia

    Thank you for speaking up about this. I agree that the “daily” rasism, is something that we all should be aware of. It’s crazy that we in 2020 still are not there that we can accept that we are all just people – and equal!

  9. Polly

    It pisses me off whenever I read stories like this and I’m sorry that you have to experience this. It’s unfair and I can’t fathom how some people could be so cruel.

  10. Pingback: “Daddy Changed the World” | Dad 2.0

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