A Guide To My Father’s Day Gifts
June 23, 2016
It’s Father’s Day season!
That time of the year where dads everywhere are shown some love. Now, for many of us, that love is in the form of presents. Beautiful, glorious gifts, straight from the hearts of those who appreciate us the most. In our household, the kiddos wanted to hook me up nice. They put in work, making some sweet gifts for their old man, which they are dying to show me.
So let’s get to it!
Yo, B and J, come here. Can I please see what you’ve created? Alright J, you first. What do you got?
Amazing artwork! I love them. You did these all by yourself? Wow, your penmanship is spectacular for a four year old.
Oh, what’s that?
You got me a medal, too? For being the World’s Greatest Dad? I didn’t even know that I was in the running this year for it.
Yes, of course, I’ll put it on!
I’d like to thank my family, the Academy, and my fellow nominees, and…..sorry, let’s get back on track.
B, what did you make?
Homemade BBQ rub! Yum! What’s your secret recipe?
Spicy peppers and sugar?
Delicious. Can’t wait to try it! Oh, you made some artwork, too? Sweet!
A family portrait? Well done! Very true to life, right down to my bald head!
A picture of us in our house. Looks like there’s a party up in here, up in here! Word to DMX! What do you mean, who’s DMX?
Anyway, what are you doing?
Playing basketball? Cool.
Where am I going?
To play basketball? Yikes. The party must have been pretty lame.
You wrote a note, too? Aww, how sweet!
“Mom makes me happy. You make a great mom.”
Well, that’s a lovely thing to say about Mommy. I really was hoping, since its Father’s Day and all, that the note would have been for me, though….
Hey, is someone cutting onions? My eyes are starting to water.
Oh, you did make me one, too!
Thanks, B! I can’t wait to see it!
Whoa. What did you try to say here?
“Shake your booty booty booty booty in daddy’s face. I hope you had a stinking Father’s Day.”
Son of a B!
WTF, dude. Stop giggling! Butts in the face are NOT a laughing matter.
Well this didn’t go as planned. As usual.
Time to wrap it up.
B, go to your room.
J, come listen to the rest of my acceptance speech for my World’s Greatest Dad award.
Happy Father’s Day, y’all.